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Thought Of Writing A Book Called “A Cup Of Hot Warm Water”

I thought of writing a book called “A Cup Of Hot Warm water”  A Cup of Hot Warm water has great and special impression in me.  It was this cup of hot warm tea that has saved my life.  It has made me not to want to commit suicide anymore after drinking it.

I have once told my ex-dying friend not to look down on the cup of hot warm water.   Now he is in the pink of health.

I came from a very broken family.  My parents not only always fight,  I was their slave too.  After my relationship with my boyfriend broke when I was 26 years old, I was dying emotionally, then spread to physically.  My father sensed it.  He knew that my life was worse than being dead.  He knew he was the main caused to it.  Because of it, he commits suicide.   He wants to give me a chance to live.  His presence kills my hope and chance of living.  Gods really has a mysterious way of doing things.

My mom gave me a cup of hot warm water to drink one early morning when I have to kill myself to stop my suffering and pain for being a human being.   I was not able to sleep for a long long time.  At about 28 years of age, I look and felt like a 1000 years old lady.  My friend said, I am already dead but can still breath.  I could not stand this anyone.  I could not stand being not able to sleep at all and forever.  I did not want to commit suicide but I have;  for I can’t sleep;  for I am suffering terriblly.  I was waiting for 7am to come to committed suicide.  It is already 6am.  I was in the same bed as my mom.  My mom senses my desperation.  She woke up, leave the bed.  Then she came back and bring me a cup of hot warm water to drink.  Her action tell me that she still take me as her daughter or maybe that she still care for me.  That was the best warmth I got from my entire life.  I never know anyone has ever cared for me before.  I never know that she has ever care for me before.

I felt asleep, immediately after drinking the water.  15 minutes later, my elder brother, pull one of my leg to pull me up, and I was never asleep again for a very very long time.

A person is what his or her childhood is.  When a person has a good or rather healthy childhood, a person has a good or rather healthy adulthood.

After my father died, my children and I were throw out of our home by my family and ‘god knows if he was my husband’s man.  My mother would rather to give accommodation to the “god knows if he is my husband’ man.  My 2 children (few month old daughter and 3 years old son) and I have no accommodation.  My neighbor knew about.  They did not help me, but look down on me.  I hate them.

At that terrible moment, I went to the police station.  I told the police that I do not want my children as I am not able to take care of them.  The police asked me to go to the social welfare for help.

I went.  They asked me to fill up form.  I did.  Then they asked me to go home and wait.  I wait for 3 months.  They never call.  I went to see them.  They said my application was successful and I will be getting RM50 per month from them.  Another 3 months passed.  I received nothing from the social welfare.  I called them.  No one like or want to take my phone.  They would pass the phone around.  They would make me wait in the phone for a long time.  Then they will cut my call.

 I have no choice.  At that time (20 years ago), Malay Mail do have a hot line column.  I write to them.  I write to them about Social Welfare.  I think Malay Mail did call Social Welfare up about my case.  I receive call from Social Welfare.  She asks me to go her office.   She said my RM50 is ready for reimburse.  I went to social welfare.  I can still remember that his name is called Rosmen.  He scolded me.  He said, why I have to write to The Malay Mail Hotline.  I told him that Social Welfare did not want to attend to me.

Almost every year social welfare increased the amount of money she gave to me.  The increased amount is rm10.  Eventually mine reached the maximum that is RM200 per month.   The amount of money social welfare gave to me and my children is not enough.  My little children and I have no property like house, saving, assets, friends relative, family and etc.

5 years back, I went to Zakat to ask for help because social welfare did not give consideration to the fact that we need money for shelter, transport, medicine and etc.  Zakat ask if I have any assistance from anybody.  I said yes, from Social Welfare “Kebajikan”.  He said how much.  I said RM200 a month.  Zakat seem to be very interested to the RM200 which I have said for he right it down on a piece of paper.  After this interview, I no longer receive RM200 from social welfare but RM100.  Those days by bank book will show the transaction.  Now it don’t.  From the visible transaction, it became invisible

After this interview, I did not receive any help from Zakat.  Zakat never help helpless people.   After this interview, social welfare no longer give me RM200 per month but RM100.  Someone has swallow my RM100.  If social welfare wanted to deduct my fund, surely she must inform me, let me know, etc.  My instinct told me that Zakat has asked Social Welfare not to give me RM200 a month but rm100.  How evil and that they have swallow my money.

About my bank book (saving account book) – when I receive RM200 from social welfare, there is always a transaction in it.  This transaction will be shown up, when I update my bank book.  Now, it is not so.  Thieves and criminals destroy the source of investigation.  Those transactions have become invisible transactions.   Transactions make by criminals and thief cannot be made visible but invisible.

Social welfare, like my parents, not only do not have any respect on me but always hurt and harm me when their duty is otherwise.  They own me a duty of care and trust, but they breach and abuse it.  They are evil and devil.  I hope someone will pass my case to MACC to handle.

My mom is someone who always speaks and talk to my neighbors.  I once asked her if she knew why my late father commits suicide; she said she did not know.  But I know.  My late father knows that I am someone who has no hope and no future and that my parents, especially him, my father was the main cause to it.  He sacrificed himself to give me a chance to live.  Circumstances are as such that so long is he is alive, I will die.

Myself:  My friend said, don’t tell me, you are even scare of babies and children.  Maybe I am really scare of people.  That I have nervous breakdown for a long long time, is an evidence of it.  They (human being) are indeed cruel and evil.

Am a single mother, so I sign up in a single mother club / association and became a member of it.    School was about to reopen.  This single mother club/association asked us to go to Bintang Supermarket to get RM40 of school uniform, sock or shoes for our school going children.   I do not know where Bintang Supermarket is.  I went early to look for it (Bintang Supermarket) with my little daughter.  We took a mini bus.  We kept looking out of the mini bus to find Bintang Supermarket but could not find  it.  Then I asked the driver if he knows where it is.  He said maybe but is already past,  meaning the bus has already passed Bintang Supermarket.  After that I sat in the bus and SMS the supervisor of the Single Mother Club.  I say, ‘damn, I cannot find Bintang Supermarket”.  She never reply my SMS.

When Chinese New Year was about to come, we, single mother was told to go to Wendy Yap’s (CEO of single mother club) house to get angpow (rm1000) for the Chinese New Year.   My little daughter and I went.  We do not know where Wendy Yap’s house is.  We call and call (phone and phone) her, look and look for her house.    At long last after a very hard time, we found Wendy Yap’s house.   The meeting and gathering started.  In the meeting, Wendy told me I was rude in front of everybody.  I was bewilded and shocked.   I said rude?  What is rude?  I said Wendy, what does it means.  Wendy said that I scolded her assistance, the supervisor of the Single Mother’s Club.  I said ”when?’, “I did not’.  She said ‘yes’.  Eventually, she asked the supervisor to bring out the SMS.  It said,’ damn, I cannot find Bintang Supermarket’.  I said, hey that is not scolding.  I said, at that moment, of time, I am not feeling down and is free.  So I just SMS.   ‘Damn, I cannot find Bintang Supermarket’ mean  I can’t find the supermarket after a hard search. And it’s nothing more than that.  I told Wendy Yap that the standard of English Language of hers and her Supervisor is very low and bad.  Such simple words also she does not understand.

The people there, Wendy yap and the supervisor keep scolding me because of that SMS.   If the supervisor has felt that I have scolded her, why didn’t she call or tell me.  Why does her have to go and tell the matter to Wendy Yap.  She should have given me a chance to explain.   ‘Damn, I can’t find Bintang Supermarket ‘is not, ‘ hey you idiot, you did not take me to the supermarket when you know I do not know where it is’ or whatever.   ‘ hey you idiot, you did not take me to the supermarket when you know I do not know where it is’ is scolding, BUT,  ‘Damn, I can’t find Bintang Supermarket”  is definitely not scolding but talking (to someone whom I know) or rather making a speech which is a right.  Surely, I have a right to talk or make a speech when I want to.

Wendy and her supervisor, being the CEO and supervisor of the single mother’s club, must find out if we know where the Bintang Supermarket is before asking our children and us (single mothers) to go there.  Then they must help those who do not know where it is.  The wrong doer of the above is the single mother club and not me.

Because of their own fault, mistake and wrongs, Wendy Yap forfeit me my rm1000 angpow That money are given to us by people who help single mother.   She wounded me and yet threw salt into it.  How evil, how cruel.  Wendy Yap is, I think the CEO OF CARING (for the aged) in Kajang.  How could anyone in that position be so stupid, means and a god damn nuisance?

4 years has passed.   They have abandoned my children and I for more than 4 years already.  They have breached their duty of care and trust, thus they must be sacked, closed or whatever.

Law does protect the fairer sex, but from above, we know that it is otherwise.  Who should be blame?  It is the police.  If only the police ensure that the Law is not being abuse, he would have catch all those criminals and put them behind bar.

From (link)  I know I am entitle to RM650 of BRIM.  One day, I was surfing the internet, and found that social welfare is related to the distribution of BRIM’S MONEY.

From the ways my bank book goes, I know social welfare has stolen RM200 of my BRIM’S money (RM650).  Social welfare is the only one that has something to do with my (that) bank account.  That bank account was open only for social welfare to put in the money she is to give to the helpless (my children and I).  Social Welfare is the only one who is infamous for their invisible entries (transaction) in the bank book.  After updating said bank book, one can never see said transaction.  When the balance does not tally, and from a space that is present in the bank book, we know an invisible transaction has taken place.

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